About Sponsorship

If you are convinced you are a real sexaholic, there may be little chance you can recover on your own. Time after time, newcomers have tried to do the program alone. Avoiding getting a sponsor, they turned to easier methods, and they almost always failed. We found it necessary to take the Twelve Steps and work the program with the help and guidance of an experienced person.

The sponsor is a sexaholic who has recovered. He or she has found the solution and has achieved a considerable length of sobriety. A sponsor was just as baffled as you are today, but has recovered. Recovery has properly armed the sponsor with the facts about the problem of sexaholism. A sponsor has gained an understanding of the solution necessary to overcome sexaholism. Once you are confident that your sponsor knows what he or she is doing, much can be accomplished. 

The tradition in SA is that the newcomer asks a person in the program to be a sponsor. There are some important qualifications the potential sponsor should have. Sponsors should have worked through the Twelve Steps under the direction of their sponsor, successfully overcome sexual addiction and have a comfortable period of sobriety. If they have no sobriety, they cannot help you get it, either. They should have a sponsor of their own, and be actively working with others and doing service within the fellowship. Also they should be attending several meetings.

Don't be worried that you might be imposing on sponsors. They need to work with new sexaholics in order to maintain sobriety and serenity. They will be glad you asked. Not every person can or will sponsor others, so do not be discouraged if one says no. Just ask another. You can also ask a more experienced member of SA to help you find a sponsor.